Hey Fuck - Tard Get Off My Saddle Shoes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have 4 children. Yes I said it 4. When I say it out loud I still can't believe it. They are absolutely the most fabulous children in the world. Not that I am bias or anything. I have 1 boy. He is my oldest and ALL BOY. This blog post however is focused on my 3 daughters because I highly doubt my sports loving son could give a rats ass about any of the topics I am about to approach with of course an honest and delightful approach. (see title for a piece of the delightful pie)

 Recently one of my daughters came home from school and was mortified that a boy had stepped on her white dress shoes. She expressed with great concern that there was now scuffs on these shoes and she was beside herself with grief. Questions came flying out of her mouth at a rapid speed. She wanted to know how to get the scuffs off. She wondered how she would ever be able to wear her pretty dresses when nobody will be able to see the true beauty of the dress because they will not be able to take their eye's off of her tainted shoe! Most of all she wanted ANSWERS! She was beside herself in disbelief that this boy saw nothing wrong with creating a premanent mark on her sparkling white shoe.

 To understand why my daughter was in such devestation over what some may see as a non issue you would have to know my daughter.

 This is her at 3 years old.

 

My oldest daughter Sweet Pea now 8 years old.

More proof that Sweet Pea was a born lady

 Who doesn't love a tutu?

 It just so happens that the same day my 5 year old daughter came off the bus in a furious state. It turns out that a boy on the bus told her that he hated her black leather dress shoes. She could not believe that he would be so mean to her about her pretty shoes! ( Her words) She then told me that this boy doesn't know how pretty her shoes are because he is a boy.

                                                                              She had a point

Again you would need to know my daughter to understand her frusteration. I am not her biological mother although I have been raising her with my hubby since she was just starting to wear pull ups so she is my baby girl as well. When I started dating my husband he was a single Father raising his baby girl the majority of the time with visits to her biological Mommy. He had her dressed in camo often and sported a camo diaper bag. I had a talk with him one day that he needed to put barretts in her hair on a regular basis so she would be used to the feel of wearing things in her hair for when she was old enough to have her hair fixed everyday. To my delight he started putting barretts in her hair almost everyday and even carried them around in the pockets of his camo shorts. He impressed me when he painted her little nails by himself. (Fantastic Daddy For Sure) Since this little sweetie is being raised the majority of the time by her Daddy and I it comes as no surprise that she is as equally feminine as my 8 year old precious daughter.

Our 5 year old little Ginger Snap

 

A Little Lady

 

Seriously can't pass up a tutu...EVER

 

All of this talk about my daughters and their obvious love of shoes required a trip down memory lane for yours truly. To fully understand where my wee ones have obtained their love of all things feminine I must take a look at my own history of......

 Sugar & Spice!

 

 

The Momma Bear

 

As a child I once had long hair but one day my mother gave me this blasphemous hair cut that looks to be part shag and part bowl cut. This gem of a picture was taken in Tennessee. That aside check out the awesome red sunglasses pin on my crop top. I declared said pin lucky and refused to go a day without wearing it until it was lost on my trip back to Washington State. Obviously it was lucky because  I caught this sweet ass fish while wearing it.

 

Fast forward and we have another fish picture with a pink plaid shirt i may have strategically worn to show that I can blend with the fisher folk for a fishing adventure with my husband. Clearly I have a standard pose when holding a dead fish that I then pass off to my loving husband to gut for me. (Thank's Babe)

 

This shoe situation with 2 of my daughters reminded me of my childhood saddle shoes. Oh yes SADDLE SHOES!

I loved my saddle shoes like no other. I wore them every time I had the chance. I would have slept in them if they were more comfortable. Then tragedy struck. I remember it like yesterday.  I was a shy first grader  minding my own business with my friend Polly on the monkey bars. Just then a boy with a head full of giant red curls came over and made fun of my prized saddle shoes.

                    Yep!

 

This boy that is burned into my memory forever told me that I was a nerd because my shoes were only the shoes that a dork would wear. He then stomped on my shoe with his giant hiking boot scuffing them beyond repair.

What????? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

From that day forward I refused to wear my saddle shoes and I told my mother I hated them because they were ugly. Looking back I should have just worn them anyway and given that Jack Ass the finger. Well the tiny first grader finger that is.

 

 

This gesture probably would have been sufficient

 

(Insert Na Na Na Na Boo Boo Here)

This journey down memory lane reminds me that I must teach my daughters to embrace their individual style no matter what anyone else thinks about it. I need to remind them that although they are beautiful that eventually look's fade and their heart is what matters. To not take anything anyone say's to them during their school years personally because it won't matter later in life and to embrace their femininity because it's the icing on the cake of being a woman.

 

Our youngest little lady in our household is 5 months old and she is already a Delicate Flower.

3 months old

 

A hair flower is a staple in the life of a little lady.

 

 

Again tutu.... need I say more?

 

Due to the fact that the thought of the day is about shoes I need to pay tribute to shoe don'ts of the past.

 

CLOGS

I am not sure if these need an explanation since clogs are one of my all time least favorite shoes. My Mother bought me clogs a few times as a child and I alway's thought they were the ugliest shoe anyone had ever created. I am probably wrong on that but it was the view of a child..:)

 

Clogs with a heel? Nope still gross

Painted Clog..... Ummmm ditto.

 

 

 

The Jelly Sandal

Ok I am torn on these shoes. I had them as a child and they were rad! I then had them when they made an unfortunate come back in Junior High. EEK! Fail!

 

In my opinion the Grand Daddy of hideous and yes I owned a pair!

Wait for it..... Wait for it........

The platform sneaker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm at a loss for words on this one.

I would rather sport a pair of clear platforms with goldfish in the heels then these craptastic eye sores!

 

In conclusion:

Yes shoes are superficial. Shoes are not important at all in the long run. Family is all that ever truly matters. But every now and then we women salute the shoe because I am pretty sure we are naturally drawn to it like a fly to a bug zapper. There must be something in our DNA that explains the shoe fetish experienced by ladies everywhere.

 

So Saddle Shoes........................

 

I Salute You!